


Plan V

by ndcellist



Series: V-day fics [1]
Category: ONEUS (Band), ONEWE (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Dongju is undecided, Fluff, Geonhak is a early education major, Giwook is a music production major, Hwanwoong is a dance major, Keonhee is a theatre major, M/M, Onewe mentioned only for now, Pining, Seoho is a chemistry major, Yonghoon is a vocal grad student, Youngjo is a music production major, bc i'm incapable of writing unhappy ending for any of my stories, seoho/dongju is only minor, will update tags as i continue to write
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-03
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-02 04:20:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,403
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23978881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ndcellist/pseuds/ndcellist
Summary: "I still have so much to saySo I wrote it all down and it became lyricsThis longing hurts more than the break upThis song that was written easily as I thought of you"For Youngjo, it's been Geonhak since the day they met. But for Geonhak, Youngjo is nothing more than a close friend who had been there as he restarted his life. As this valentine's day draws near, Geonhak has decided he's finally going to break from his shy shell outside his group of close-knit friends and spend it with someone who likes him as much as he likes them. Unfortunately, his idea of who that person should be and his friends' idea of that special someone are in disagreement.
Relationships: Kim Geonhak | Leedo/Kim Youngjo | Ravn, Lee Seoho/Son Dongju | Xion
Series: V-day fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1728919
Comments: 13
Kudos: 42





	1. and so heartbreak begins...

**Author's Note:**

> This was originally part of a concept trilogy I had planned for this past Valentine's day but with quarantine I've had more time to work on them and figured instead of waiting til next year, I'd share it as I write and edit it. Title is pretty unoriginal but obviously the V stands for Valentine's day. Also Geonhak/Youngjo is one of my favorite relationships (platonic or romantic) so this story was one I've wanted to do and figured this duo was the perfect fit. 
> 
> Updates will be kind of irregular but I will try my best.

“HE SAID YES!” a booming voice rang out as soon as the front door slammed shut.  


Seoho looks up from his laptop screen with his unfinished essay, not the least bit startled by the loud outburst.  


Sighing at the man who had just rudely interrupted his work time, 

“please be quiet I’m pretty sure Youngjo hyung is sleeping in his room right now.”  


Geonhak covered his mouth with hands in a bashful look and let out a small, “oops” before whisper shouting “sorry hyung!” in the direction of the older man’s bedroom. Clasping his hands together he practically skipped over to the couch Seoho was situated on and threw his body face first into one of the decorative cushions lying on the couch.  


Lifting his face from the pillow, “Hyung,” Geonhak murmured dragging the word to get Seoho’s attention, “c’mon I’m so excited and you’re really killing my happy vibes right now by ignoring me.”  


Letting out another sigh, the older man closed his laptop after saving his essay, placing a mental sticky note to not procrastinate on it any further, placing it gingerly on the beaten-up coffee table in front of him. Picking up his phone to check for any updates in the last hour he’d been working, he continued.  


“Ok. I’ll play along. Who said yes?”  


“Well, I was at the coffee shop nearby the dance building today and I saw Mingi standing there looking like something from only my best dreams. Normally I get so flustered being around anyone that attractive but lately I’ve been having more small talk with Mingi and building up my confidence. So I figured today’s a good day as any and marched right up to him and asked him out for Valentine’s day since it’s this weekend.”  


Seoho stopped scrolling on his phone at Geonhak’s words. He whips his entire body in Geonhak’s direction, round eyes wide with shock.  


“Wait and he s-“, he starts  


“YES!”  


Seoho stops for a moment and peeks a quick glance in the direction of his eldest hyung’s bedroom and pleads to the universe that Youngjo isn’t home right now but out doing anything other than overhearing this conversation.  


Geonhak, not noticing Seoho’s actions in his current happy mood, continues on,  


“Yeah he agreed. Gave me his number and everything. We’re gonna have the date at my place on Saturday and maybe if it goes well, he’ll stay the night.” He waggles his eyebrows suggestively before sighing just thinking about how hot his date was.  


“mmm yeah I guess sounds like great valentine’s plans, Hak.” Seoho feels his phone vibrate with a text from Dongju reminding him that they were having dinner later tonight at his place, so he needed to start clearing up around the apartment.  


“Look as much as I’d love to hear more about your future date with dick, I gotta start getting ready for my date tonight with Dongju which means you can’t hang out here tonight.”  


Jumping up from the couch, and putting the pillow back in its spot, Geonhak only now noticed it was the one with the adorable black cat he had bought for Youngjo when the two eldests of their friends had moved into the place.  


“That’s fine. I gotta go check on Hwanwoong anyway and check if he’s still alive after his exam today,” the younger man says while picking up his dance bag off the floor where he’d tossed it on his way in.  


“Yeah that’s probably a good idea considering how stressed he was a few days ago when I last saw him for lunch.”  


Tugging his shoes back on, Geonhak gives a final wave to Seoho before shutting the door behind him.  


Seeing that the coast was clear, he slowly walks over to Youngjo’s shut door and gives a quick knock before softly asking, “Hyung? You in there?”  


It’s quiet for a moment before he hears a telltale sniffle and a muffled whimper.  


Gently opening the door, Seoho walks into the room to see Youngjo on the floor, curled up with his back against the wall. As he gets closer, he notices that the elder had tears streaming down his face as he clutches onto a piece of paper to his chest. Kneeling down he wraps his arms around his friend and tries his hardest to comfort him.  


Youngjo starts sobbing harder as Seoho awkwardly tries to wrap his arms around the taller man. Seeing that this wasn’t going to let up anytime soon, he grabs his phone out of his back pocket and sends a quick one-handed text to Dongju.  


_Youngjo. Crying. Code Red. _  
__

Placing his phone on the ground, he starts holding Youngjo tighter to his chest, lightly rocking the elder in an attempt to help soothe him just a little. Seoho doesn’t know how long he had been comforting for but all too soon the sound of the key pad door lock unlocking chimes and he hears the light footsteps of his boyfriend rushing into the apartment looking for its occupants.  


As soon as Dongju dashes into the room, he takes Youngjo from Seoho’s arms and starts hugging Youngjo. Within minutes, the sobs decrease until the only evidence of them happening were the eldest’s red rimmed eyes and the wet patches on both Dongju and Seoho’s shirts from where the tears had seeped through. The two boyfriends make eye contact as they wait for their hyung to sober up and speak to them. Dongju mouthing to Seoho asking what happened. Seoho silently mouths back a simple “Geonhak got a date.”  


A choked up, “I was an idiot to think I even had a chance,” breaks the silence of their conversation.  


Both men turn to look at the man sandwiched between them, still curled up in a way that made the normally tall man look so small and fragile. Dongju readies himself to start hugging his hyung again if the tears return.  


Seoho responds, “I’m sorry hyung.”  


Youngjo lifts his gaze from his bent knees to his roommate, “It’s not your fault Seoho. I knew I didn’t have a chance but I still had just a little bit of hope that this year, now that I finally had the courage to confess, that maybe I could at least do that. That maybe I had been wrong this whole time. Or that maybe for once Geonhak would see me as an option.” 

The piece of paper, still clutched in his shaking hands, ends up even more crushed as the dark haired man tries to steady himself from the overwhelming sadness that kept washing over his heart thinking of the confession he had planned with the shred of hope his friends had instilled over him the last few months. He should have known the idea was too good to be true. Geonhak had made it clear time and time again, that Youngjo was his closest friend and nothing more. Now it was time for Youngjo's heart to start getting on the same page too. 


	2. deep breaths

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Friends are truly the best of the best (and free sushi never hurt nobody)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter is a bit longer than the previous and I hope anyone who reads it enjoys since this whole thing is still a new type of writing experience for me. if anyone would like to suggest other idols they'd like to see included, i'd be happy to try and see if I can work them in somehow. i'm a multi and i love adding more and more idols to fics especially if they're friends irl

Youngjo sits at the breakfast bar in the apartment, face still slightly ruddy and eyes puffy with the signs of his tears from only a few hours ago even after the man had showered and washed his face with plenty of cold water. In the kitchen, he watches Dongju fuss as Seoho tries to interject his own ‘twist’ to the dinner they’re making. Glancing at the clock, the eldest registers that they’ve been trying to make dinner for almost an hour now and figures they’ll give up and order take-out as per usual in about three, two, one…  


“Alright well this chicken is burnt. You just want to go for our usual from the Thai place instead Ju-ah?”  


The youngest sighs as he gazes at the black crust that managed to form on the main course while he had been trying to get Seoho to stop trying to add apples and eggs to the tomato sauce.  


“Yeah I don’t think we can eat this anymore, hyung.”  


Turning to look at Youngjo, “Hyung-“  


Youngjo shakes his head, “Count me out Dongju. I feel bad enough that I’m bothering you guys and taking up your time when it’s supposed to be your date.”  


Next to him, his phone dings with the sound of a Kakao message. He doesn’t have to look at the screen to know that it’s Geonhak. The sharp pinprick of hurt returns as he quickly looks away, hoping that if he can ignore it a little while longer, he might feel just a bit more ready to deal with everything. The little voice in the back of his head that sounds suspiciously like Hwanwoong reminds him that delaying the inevitable won’t make the pain any more bearable.  


Seoho looks up from his phone as he finishes the take-out order, “Too late, already bought you an order of spicy tuna rolls. You can pay me back with lunch some other day. And it’s not like we hate spending time with you, hyung, so stop worrying and apologizing okay.”  


Dongju swings around the breakfast bar to seat himself on the stool next to Youngjo,  


“How are you feeling by the way, hyung?”  


“I’ll be fine Dongju-ah. I just need… time to get my stupid feelings to deal. Everything will be okay.”  


“Hyung, it’s okay to be sad. You shouldn’t stop yourself from feeling what you need to because you don’t want to worry anyone.”  


“I wish I could but I’m just trying to spare myself right now. I always knew that my chances were slim to begin with. He’s never shown any interest whenever I tried flirting and making myself obvious early on. You remember that Dongju. Anytime I tried to cuddle or compliment him, he’d just brush me off.”  


Seoho pipes up from where he’s leaning against the counter,  


“Geonhak-ie was very shy early on, hyung. I think he was uncomfortable when any of us tried it, even Dongju, and now Dongju could literally bite him and hang off his shoulders and he wouldn’t even bat an eye. Well, maybe if Ju bit him hard enough he’d scream a little but I mean who wouldn’t. My baby is vicious.”  


He reaches across the counter to pat the younger brunette’s messy hair fondly, before quickly retracting his hand as Dongju playfully tries to bite his hand.  


The youngest whines, “Hyung. What kinda weird ass compliment are you giving me? I’m nothing but cute and innocent,” with his arms grumpily crossed and a pout forming as he speaks.  


Youngjo chuckles fondly at their antics before glancing at his phone again. His fingers itch to grab it and read the message waiting for him despite knowing the hurt that would hit.  


“If you guys don’t mind I think I’ll take my sushi with me to the studio. I just kinda want time to just be by myself and maybe working on some music will help me, I dunno … process? Think things through? I love you both but it’s unfair of me to take up your time and before either of you two argue with me, I was meant to head out tonight anyway to give you space.”  


Dongju swivels his chair towards Youngjo, breaking the glare he’d been sending to Seoho.  


“Are you sure, hyung? We really don’t mind.”  


“Yeah, I promise I’ll call either of you if I start feeling like ‘m on the verge of another sob fest. You don’t have to worry too much okay?”  


“Alright, hyung. But don’t stay too late. You need your sleep too.”  


“Aish Dongju-ah, when did you become so grown up?” Youngjo jokes as he quickly ruffles the youngest’s hair.  


“Yah! Hyung!”  


The three continue to talk about their day, any general life updates they’ve missed out on as they’ve been so busy with midterms and jobs. As Dongju starts up a story he’d heard from Dongmyeong earlier today, Youngjo is reminded that he still needs to talk with Giwook, since he’s somehow managed to take the younger music production major under his wing when they met during the first few weeks of school months ago.  


Before long, their sushi had arrived. Youngjo let the couple sort out his stuff from theirs as he goes to his room to grab whatever he’d need for a late night at the studio. Tossing his phone in his pocket without a glance at the notifications.  


With a take-out bag of sushi in hand, and his bag on his shoulder, he toes his shoes on and heads out the door with a final wave at the other two, wishing them a nice night before starting his short walk to the studio not far from their apartment building.  


The studio itself didn’t belong to Youngjo solely but since he’s started TA-ing for an intro music production course, the professor has given him a key to a studio in case he needed to go in to help a student or to just use for his own work as a senior. He couldn’t quite hole up in there for days at a time like he does in his makeshift one in the apartment made with lower quality equipment that he could use temporarily before recording a better version at the campus studio. But he’s grateful to get to work with professional quality gear as often as he does.  


During his last project in the studio, he had managed to get close to an end product he liked with one of his songs. He still felt like the vocals weren’t quite what he’d wanted for the sound but he’s exhausted through most of his friends whether they be vocal majors or just happened to have a talent for singing. And wasn't too keen on having to go through asking his friends if they knew anyone else that might be willing. The last set of recordings had been with Yonghoon, and while the older man’s vocals were the right level of soothing and crooning, it still hadn’t felt perfect to Youngjo. Thankfully Yonghoon didn’t take much offense to having to do more takes than usual understanding that sometimes Youngjo could be a perfectionist in recording so that in post-production he wouldn’t have to mess around too much in editing.  


Opening the door and shutting it behind him, Youngjo settles into the chair by the sound board and sighs. He starts pulling up the editing software as he cracks open the container of sushi, his hunger making itself apparent after hours of not eating. After popping a piece in his mouth, he tugs the headphones on and starts clicking away, mind completely focused on working on a melody he had made a few weeks ago. Every once in awhile eating another piece of his dinner. When his chopsticks no longer had something to grab, he decides to take a breather, glancing at the clock and seeing that 2 hours had already passed while he worked. Tossing the empty container away, he hears the telltale sound of another Kakao message. Youngjo takes his cap off and ruffles his dark hair, turning to look at where his phone has been lying on the desk, and takes a deep breath.  


Head resting on the back of the chair, he stares at the ceiling of the room for a moment before closing his eyes and murmuring to himself,  


“He’s your friend. C’mon Youngjo, you can do this. Get it together. You knew this day had to come. You’ve prepared for this.”  


Taking another deep breath, he opens his eyes, wiping the stray tear that had formed while giving himself that desperate pep talk, and reaches for his phone. Unlocking it, he readies himself for whatever comes knowing there was no way to avoid the heartbreak that was coming.


	3. caffeinated mornings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a quick chat at the cafe the morning after heartbreak

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry this has been awhile since I last posted. I got inspired to write a different story [here](https://archiveofourown.org/works/24098179/chapters/58007278) for my fav WeUs ship, YongYoung and afterward I struggled to get back into the right mindset to start writing again. I've actually written and deleted this chapter at least 4 times now bc I want to pace the story well but I also don't want to drag it out for too long. But then I promised myself to sit down and write this chapter to be able to post it once this story got near 100 hits. 
> 
> I'd like to include other idols in this story outside of Oneus and Onewe, but please let me know of any you'd like to see included and I will try my best (bc if we can't have irl interactions we can at least have fun fictional cameos)

Youngjo makes his way into the café, face being hit with the smell of fresh coffee with just an underlying sweetness likely from the pastries and cakes in the huge case by the counter.  


Looking around the café, it seems like a Hallmark Valentine’s card threw up all over. Pink and red shiny mylar balloons are tied in bundles with white strings in the corners of the spacious café. Tables are decorated with small vases with single roses in various shades of crimson. Cheesy love songs croon over the café’s speakers about true love and happy endings. Obnoxiously pink banners advertise new drinks for the coming holiday that are flavored with strawberries, chocolate, and unhealthy amounts of whipped cream to top them off. It seems like one of the baristas is also setting up thematically colored streamers on one of the walls, while another is attaching lacey love hearts with hand-written messages on a wall nearby the front window.  


Making his way to the counter, he orders himself his usual ice americano in between a quick conversation with the barista, vehemently shaking his head no at Kenta’s attempts to get him to try one of the garish pink drinks that leaves the Japanese man with a cute pout on his face. After ordering and a promise to go out for drinks sometime some with Kenta and Sanggyun again, he makes his way to a small table that is near enough to the front door that he can spot when someone comes in, but far enough that he won’t feel the blast of frigid February air when someone does. A quick glance at his phone shows a new text from Dongju about having lunch together later in the day but nothing new from Geonhak yet.

**The Night Before**

_Hyung! Are you busy?_

Youngjo sighs looking at the message on his screen wondering if he should lie and just put off this talk until a respectable hour of the morning. Steeling himself, he types in a quick message and hits send before dropping the phone back onto the desk.

_Not at the moment. Did you need me for something?_

Another sound of an incoming message. Youngjo takes a deep breath in, and slowly breathes out through his nose. 

_I wanted to talk earlier but got distracted when I went to catch up with Hwanwoong. Let’s meet for coffee tomorrow morning at the café since it’s late right now and I’m sure you’ve been in the studio working nonstop for hours._

Youngjo chuckles at how right the younger was about his work habits when it came to his music. Coffee tomorrow? Well he really can’t keep putting it off because he could end up hurting Geonhak’s feelings if the blonde man starts to think he’s avoiding him. Better to just tear the band aid off quickly and just accept the hurt that’ll come with it. 

_Sure. I’ll meet you there at 10. Gives me enough time to wake up and we can talk before I have my afternoon session._

_See you then hyung_

**Back to the Present**

Sipping slowly at his coffee, Youngjo tries to wrap his mind about what Geonhak wants to talk to him about. Internally he prays to the universe that it won’t be about what he’d heard yesterday. That Geonhak just wanted to catch up after having been too busy the past week to hang out. Or that maybe he had some new stories about the adorable children he recently started working with.

Suddenly the door’s chime rings out sharp inside the relatively quiet café. Looking up from his coffee, he spots the very blonde he’d be waiting for. Geonhak ambles in wrapped in a large black padding jacket and after taking it off and draping it over the back of the chair across from Youngjo seats himself quickly.  


“Hyung, sorry I’m a little late. Hwanwoong and Keonhee were bickering this morning and dragged me into it which meant it took an extra 30 minutes to get out the door. You haven’t been waiting for me for too long right?”  


Youngjo chuckles softly at the mention of their younger friends, “No Geonhak-ah, I only got here maybe 10 minutes ago. Do you want coffee? I’ll go order what you want.”  


“Nah, it’s alright. I feel bad having you pay when I invited you to the café. Just give me a moment I’ll be right back.” And with that he quickly paces over the counter to order his usual hot coffee, having waved at the part-timer still struggling with the streamers.  


Youngjo takes the time while he’s ordering to just observe his friend. He’s wearing a soft light blue sweater complete with sleeves that cover all but his fingertips and some dark jeans today with his hair only messily styled, more of a quick run-through than a polished look, and yet he still looked as handsome as when he did allow Dongju or Keonhee to style him. Even in the simple sweater, his shoulders are broad and confident in their stance, so unlike the Geonhak Youngjo remembers first meeting years ago. Shaking his head at the thought, he reminds himself that Geonhak won’t ever come back if he has any say in the matter. He knows he and their friends would never allow Geonhak to ever be that broken and lost again.  


Soon, Geonhak is back coffee in hand and Youngjo’s chance to keep staring gone having spaced out for too long.  


“So what did you want to talk about?”  


“It’s great news, hyung. I finally built up the courage and asked out that guy I’ve had a bit of a crush on. We’re having a date this weekend. I know you mentioned us hanging out together to escape the couples, but I hope you don’t mind that I’ll have to cancel.”  


And like that the final piece of Youngjo’s heart that been hanging by the thinnest thread falls to the ground with a shatter. He had planned out the invite to hangout to get Geonhak alone in private with no prying eyes to confess. He hoped that should he succeed than they’d have his apartment alone to spend time together. And if in the worst case, Geonhak gently let him down, because the younger man is nothing if not gentle when it came to handling people’s emotions, than he’d have the apartment to himself to deal with the heartbreak. Now with those words, he knows he’s lost his chance to even try.  


“Oh… That’s.. That’s really nice to hear, Hak.”  


“Are you upset, hyung? I can try and let Mingi know that I already have plans and just reschedule the date for another day. I feel kinda band for canceling so last minute.”  


Everything in Youngjo wants to scream back, _yes, cancel the plans, don’t look at anyone else, just look at me, be with me._ He bites his tongue at the words wanting to spill out but won’t make their way past his throat. Instead they jam up in his throat making it difficult to swallow.  


“No I’ll be okay. Don’t reschedule your date just for me. You clearly are really excited about it and I don’t want you to miss out what with it being Valentine’s day tomorrow too.”  


“Are you sure, hyung? I’m sure he won’t mind.”  


Youngjo gently puts his hand over Geonhak’s on the table with a reassuring pat.  


“I’m a big boy Geonhak. I’m sure I can manage a weekend by myself. You can just treat me to dinner to pay me back for canceling alright?”  


“If you’re sure. I know we don’t normally talk about our love lives but I don’t really feel comfortable sharing with either Hwanwoong or Keonhee, and while Dongju is surprisingly emotionally intelligent for his age, I don’t trust him to not spill it all accidentally to Seoho and then I’ll never hear the end of his teasing.”  


Silence from Youngjo but he slowly nods in understanding before taking a sip of his melting ice coffee.  


“So I don’t know if you know Mingi but he’s in one of my psychology courses. He’s actually younger than me, same year as Dongju actually. But there’s just something about him. He’s just the slightest bit taller which I find so attractive but his personality is really sweet. I was really shy about approaching him but I happened to catch him just as I was leaving my dance class. I actually wanted to ask him to hang out over coffee. But I got a little flustered and next thing I know I was asking if he wanted to go out this weekend and he said yes!”  


Youngjo can practically see the hearts spilling from Geonhak’s softer eyes. Part of the dark haired man’s heart was cooing at how soft and beautiful the younger looked talking so excitedly. The other part, the louder part, hurt like a sharp needle jabbing at the same open wound. _You’re just his friend. He doesn’t see you as anything more. You never had a chance._  


Trying his hardest to make his face smile rather than grimace, he replies back softly, “He sounds like a great guy, Hak. I’m sure you’ll have a lot of fun.”  


Geonhak looks up from where he’d been fiddling with the edges of his sleeves and the smile drops from his face, “I’m actually kinda nervous, hyung.”  


“That’s normal but any particular reason why?”  


“I know my appearance can give people the wrong idea about me and I’m worried that I’m not going to meet his expectations.”  


Youngjo reigns in the fury he can already feel building inside him at the people in Geonhak’s past. Taking a silent deep breath in, he calmly replies, “You shouldn’t have to care if you meet his expectations or not, Geonhak. He should like you for who you are, not who he thought you were. You are wonderful the way you are, b-.” he catches himself before the last word leaves his mouth. If Geonhak notices, he doesn’t make it obvious. Youngjo scolds himself internally for almost slipping.  


The older man knew that while Keonhee, Hwanwoong, and Dongju are okay with him calling them by affectionate nicknames like baby, the blonde across the table from him made it clear his utter distaste for hearing terms like that from him early on to which he has always tried his hardest to comply with despite the urges.  


“Yeah yeah hyung I know. It’s very self-love of you. But I’m trying to be realistic here. I know I’m handsome based on the number of guys who hit on me when we hang out at the Rainbow Bridge bar.”  


Youngjo winces at memories of silently watching guys try to flirt their way into his crush’s pants with little success though they are a stubborn lot.  


“You’ll be fine Geonhak. Plus if he does anything untoward, you know I’ll come beat his ass for hurting you.”  


At that, the other man snorts with laughter, “Hyung, I’d pick Dongmyeong and Dongju over you if it comes to a fight, at least those two can get scrappy when needed.  


“I can do much better than the twins can.” Youngjo whines with a slight pout to his lips.  


Chuckling Geonhak slowly counts with his right hand, “First off you’re too much of a pacifist to actually fight someone, even in my honor. Secondly, I’m more than capable of protecting and defending myself so thanks but no thanks. Third, I bet you couldn’t even say that in front of them for fear of the repercussions. Fourth, you have a bad back and you'd probably end up in the hospital and in recovery again if you tried to fight anyone.”  


Youngjo pauses and pouts further before muttering, “It’s the thought that counts though right?”  


Geonhak giggles at his hyung’s childish whines and inevitably Youngjo joins in too. The pair continue to trade back jokes about how Youngjo’s getting into his older years and too soon will be as decrepit as Yonghoon. Geonhak’s phone goes off breaking their conversation. Grabbing the device from his pocket, his eyes light up reading the notification. “Mingi just texted me about tomorrow. Oh I just saw the time, you should leave soon or you’ll be late to your next class.”

The mention of Geonhak’s future date sobers Youngjo up, killing any leftover laughter in his throat. He nods in agreement and starts putting on his jacket. As he turns to say goodbye, Geonhak quickly waves back before turning back to his phone and reabsorbing himself in the texts being sent back and forth.  


Youngjo sighs as he steps back out into snow. A whisper slowly emerging again from where he’d shoved it down.  


_You never had a chance._

_You never had a chance._

_You never had a chance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and hopefully I will be able to finish up the next chapter much sooner so that I'm not posting these like once a month. 
> 
> Kudos and comments help keep authors like me excited knowing that people do enjoy what we're writing and putting out in the world so if you'd like to please leave them (I truly reply to each and every comment bc I love hearing from people)
> 
> Stream ONEUS' performances of [Lit (가자)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0jVBKcv5NzQ) and [Warrior's Descendant's](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NTtW4IlqlqA) on Naver & Youtube if you can!
> 
> Also [STREAM Onewe's MV for End of Spring](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MLqorz9OvEs&t=0s) and support your local WEVEs.


	4. a night out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> that's the last time Youngjo tries to solve his problems with soju

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okie I finally got to writing and finishing this chapter. sorry that it's so long and i really can't guarantee it'll always be this long. this was a chapter that kind of exists between two plot points I had mapped out and so it definitely took me a little more time to figure out how to use it as a transition between the two. 
> 
> Also I realize the timeline might be a bit unclear but to clarify:  
> Ch 1& 2 take place Thursday, Ch 3 takes place Friday, this chapter takes place Saturday (Valentine's day) with mentions of what happened Friday night!

Eyes twitch with the warm light streaming down from the open curtains. Youngjo opens his eyes slowly before shutting them again with a wince of pain. He makes a blind grab for the comforter, pulling it over his head to block out the light. Once wrapped in the comforter, the dark-haired man turns on his side just enough to press his face slightly into the pillow under his head. The linen must have been washed recently as it still had a strong scent of detergent but also a light scent of something Youngjo couldn’t quite place. Taking a moment to recollect himself against the pounding in his head, he opens his eyes once again this time taking in his surroundings. 

_Grey sheets? Since when did I have… SHIT!_

With a scramble of his tired limbs, he turns his head quickly taking in the room around him. The sheets and pillows with a familiar cologne, the rack of weights off to the side against the wall, the closet half open showcasing the many neat sweaters and cardigans hung up. He’s in Geonhak’s bedroom. Looking around he sees his phone plugged in on the nightstand along with some aspirin and a bottle of raisin tea. Downing the aspirin with a quick chug of half the bottle, Youngjo closes his eyes and listens to see if he can hear anyone else in the apartment. Silence. No sounds of water or clanging in the kitchen. He grabs his phone off the cable, once unlocked he notices texts from Geonhak.

_Hyung, I left you some aspirin and tea_

_There should be enough hangover soup sitting in the kitchen ready to be heated up so you and Thing 1 & 2 can have some since I’m assuming you probably woke up before they did._

_Take it easy today, hyung. Let me know if you need me for anything but I’ll be out all day probably for my date._

Youngjo gets out of the bed not quite feeling awake enough yet to parse through the bundle of emotions welling up inside his chest. He only vaguely remembers what happened last night. With a quick smell of his clothes, he figures shower first then food. A quick grumble from his stomach seemed to disagree and remembering that he hadn’t had food since lunchtime yesterday, he headed to the kitchen to locate the aforementioned soup. Propping himself up against the counter while he waited for the soup to heat up on the small stove top, he fiddles with his phone, noting a new voice recording in his files that hadn’t been there the day before. 

He remembered meeting up for lunch with Dongju who had brought along Hwanwoong, who seemed to be back to his sprightly self what with exams being over, and the three of them had a nice quick lunch at a cheap Chinese place only a few stops away from campus. Hwanwoong, while chowing down on some sweet and sour pork, had mentioned going out drinking with friends to celebrate being free from academic hell for another few weeks and suggested that they join. Dongju had turned down the offer citing his parents visiting him and his brother and that he couldn’t be hungover Saturday morning as they’d be going for breakfast, bringing along both Seoho and Dongmyeong’s new boyfriend who he had yet to meet. 

When Hwanwoong had then turned to Youngjo for his answer, he couldn’t really come up with a good enough response before sighing and agreeing to come. At the time he figured it would probably help take his mind off of Geonhak and he had been somewhat right. 

When he tried to think of exactly what had happened, he remembers getting to the bar with Hwanwoong who had insisted on letting him style Youngjo for the night. Once there they caught up with Hwanwoong’s friends, some of whom Youngjo knew from mutual acquaintances, and others he gladly introduced himself to. He remembers catching up with Donghan and being pulled away to talk music with Vernon and Donghyun. Next thing he knows he was on his third bottle of soju and remembers drunkenly wrestling Keonhee and Hwanwoong for his phone. 

In the midst of his slog through his fuzzy memories, it seems that both Hwanwoong and Keonhee had woken up and they made their way into their kitchen, Hwanwoong looking slightly less like a zombie than their blue-haired friend. Without a word, they serve themselves each a bowl of soup with some rice and the three eat in comfortable silence. 

As food slowly gets ingested, it seems to wake the other two up from their hungover stupors and the conversation starts flowing. 

Keonhee, swallowing his mouthful, pipes up, “So you got very drunk last night, Youngjo hyung. Seeing as how you usually aren’t one for doing so outside of our hangout nights in your apartment, care to share what’s going on?”

The eldest slowly puts his spoon down, “I don’t really remember. The last thing I remember was dancing with Juyeon.” He’s not totally lying per say but he doesn’t want to admit that while it had been nice to grind up against the younger dancer, he had been reminded that he knew him through Geonhak. His already buzzed mind had then tried to drown out the thoughts with more soju to the point that Youngjo could no longer recall the rest of the night in detail.

Hwanwoong speaks up next, always having a sense when someone wasn’t telling him the truth, “Wanna try that again, Youngjo hyung? We had to stop you from drunk calling someone and when we took the phone away you were crying saying something about wanting a chance too.” 

Youngjo winces at hearing what his past self had embarrassingly done, opening his mouth to answer but not quite able to the words past the lump in his throat. 

Hwanwoong puts his hand out and rubs the older’s arm in reassurance, “You don’t have to tell us if it makes you uncomfortable. We’re both just a little worried about you.”

Having uncharacteristically finished his food in silence, Keonhee calmly replies, “You really scared us a little though, hyung. We didn’t know what was wrong and it took us forever to get you to calm down enough to leave. It’s a good thing Geonhak wasn’t busy.”

Youngjo eyes widen at that, “Geonhak was there?”

Keonhee tilts his head in confusion, “Yeah we called him to get him to help us take you home since neither of us were in the best shape to help you up. He figured it would be best to let you sleep it off here.”

The dark haired man’s shoulders sag in a little knowing that he’d done something so embarrassing in front of not only his younger friends but also that the man he loved might have seen his crying fit. The last thing he wanted was to worry any of them with this whole mess that was his feelings.

The two of them shake their heads no. The blonde thinks back to the last few days and observing Youngjo’s current saddening demeanor he asks, “Did this have to do with the plans Geonhak mentioned to me on Thursday?”

The eldest nods slowly feeling tears come to his eyes at being found out. 

Keonhee gets up from where he’s seated and quickly wraps his arms around the frame of their oldest friend in a gentle but firm side hug. A reminder to the man that he is with friends who only want to see him smile again. Hwanwoong cups Youngjo’s hands in his smaller ones from where he sits, gently rubbing his thumb against the skin to help the elder relax a bit. 

“I guess I’m just still struggling to deal with finding out I didn’t have a chance with him. You should have heard him Woong-ah. He was so excited to get this date. It wasn’t the look of someone who was waiting on a confession from me.” Youngjo feels a tear escape his eye despite his best efforts to reign in his emotions.

“Hyung-“

“I don’t blame you guys for giving me hopes. I told Dongju and Seoho as much the other day when I found out.” With his hands clasped in Hwanwoong’s, he can’t wipe at the tears coming out now. Keonhee adjusts Youngjo’s head so that in rested more comfortably in the crook of his neck, patting his head in a gentle gesture to let the tears come.

Fighting the lump in his throat, he mutters “I couldn’t be selfish enough to ask him for a chance when I’m just not what he wants. I’d just be forcing my feelings onto him and you know Geonhak. He’d change himself to try and make me happy and I won’t do that to him.”

Hwanwoong pleads to the crying man, “Hyung, we all know you’d be the last to ever do something like that to Geonhak hyung or pressure him in any way to do that. You’re not being selfish for being human and wanting to be loved back.”

Keonhee whispers along, “The last thing you’ve ever been with any of us is selfish. Please don’t cry again, hyung. It’ll be okay.”

Hwanwoong reasons with the older, “It’s just a date, it’s not like they’re getting married so don’t give up yet, Youngjo hyung. I still think you should confess to Geonhak hyung. At least then you’ll have an answer. If he turns you down, then maybe finally you can, “ he pauses for a moment. Taking a deep breath he continues, “Maybe you can finally start moving on.”

Hwanwoong continues, “Hyung you can’t keep living like this. You’re just gonna end up being the only one hurt and that hurts the rest of us to have to sit by and watch it happen.” Keonhee nods. 

“Maybe you think we’re being too harsh but you really scared us last night. When we caught up to you, you were talking into your phone outside and we didn’t know what to think because we’ve never seen you so upset.”

Youngjo takes another deep breath in, wiping his tears with the back of his hand freed from Hwanwoong’s grasp. Maybe the past 2 or so years of pushing the feelings down were taking their toll on him after all. On the day to day, it had been easy enough to ignore but now maybe his heart was finally catching up with the truth his mind had been trying to tell him all along.

_Geonhak is your friend. You helped him when he needed it most. Stop thinking that any of the attention he gives you goes beyond that._

Gently breaking free of Keonhee’s lingering hug, Youngjo wipes his face one more time.

“I’m gonna head back to my place cause I really need a shower after last night. I’m sorry for worrying you both but I’ll get through this.” Grabbing his bowl, he puts it in the sink and pauses before turning back to look at the other two. “I just need this weekend to myself. I’ll let you guys know if I need you or want to talk but just let me have this. It’s not exactly easy to move on even if I’ve known for awhile, I didn’t have a chance.”

Hwanwoong’s mouth twists in clear disagreement, “Hyung, please don’t hurt yourself anymore. I’m not just talking about your feelings for Geonhak. But you have to remember you’re just as important here. Your feelings, your worth, you matter too.” Youngjo knows he’s running away from the conversation but he just doesn’t want it right now. Not with a still lingering hangover and smelling like the floor of a bar while his two younger friends look on in worry. He grabs his jacket from where it’s draped over the couch and heads towards the door to put his shoes on. Hands check for his keys and wallet, once confirmed that they were on him he opens the door and heads out with a quick goodbye to the others.

The walk home is fairly quick with his mind in a daze. Before long he’s shutting the front door and stripping last night’s dirty clothes off him to take a shower. Warm water running down his face, he sighs and lets the weight roll off his shoulder. Youngjo closes his eyes and just takes in Hwanwoong’s words. 

Moving on? It’s an idea he’d toyed with in the past. But moving on is always easier said than done and he’d never really felt his feelings for Geonhak lessen in all the time he’s known the younger man. But the idea of looking at Geonhak and not feeling the wave of calm and happiness spill across his body wasn’t something Youngjo wanted to give up. Even if there were moments like this filled with fear and sadness, it only made the happy moments spent together so much brighter and memorable. Not to mention that the only way to move on would be to potentially avoid Geonhak for awhile and the chance of them being unable to return to the friendship he held so dear loomed over him. 

He doesn’t know how long he was in the shower for but his body had seemed to move almost mechanically as he washed his hair and scrubbed down the layer of sweat he felt clinging to him. Stepping out of the shower, he makes his way into his room to dry off and dress into a pair of comfy sweats and an oversized tee with photorealistic kittens, a gift from Seoho last Christmas. 

Remembering Keonhee’s words about talking into the phone, he opens up his call log to see if he had called someone. The most recent call had been to Yonghoon a day or so ago. The older man had mentioned getting coffee to catch up and talk, something the two of them tried to partake in whenever their schedules were free. The twins liked to joke that it was their weekly single dads coffee date and to be fair neither of the two had really denied that it was such. That call had been on Thursday, if he hadn’t called someone then, maybe it was that voice recording he had seen earlier.

Pulling up the app, he clicks on the recording. In it he hears himself crying and his words have the slightest slur at the end of them. He almost hates what he hears. The recording isn’t longer than a few minutes but every bit of the audio hurts to listen to. Sure enough apparently a drunk Youngjo had meant to call Geonhak but had instead recorded himself drunkenly confessing his feelings. He quickly stops the audio so that he doesn’t have to listen anymore to how pathetic he sounds. The words coming from his past inebriated self only made him sick to his stomach. Pleading mumbles and broken cries for requited love. Thumb hovering over the option to delete before closing the app altogether. Somehow the idea of hitting the little trash can icon just felt like he was throwing away his feelings for Geonhak which just didn’t sit right to him.

Pulling himself up from where he laid on his bed, he makes his way into the living room. Tonight he was going to watch every single rom-com he can find on all the streaming platforms he shares with Seoho and order whatever he wants to eat. As he sits himself on the couch wrapped up in fluffy blankets that Dongju had insisted on having at their place for whenever he visited, he looks at his phone one last time before placing it facedown and putting it on silence. If anyone wanted him, they’ll just have to come drag his ass out of his apartment themselves.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a bunch of other idol names get dropped and personally I always love seeing that in fics so I wanted to include the fact that when it came to how many friends both hwanwoong and keonhee have as part of their irl network. there are a few more i want to somehow work into the story but haven't quite figured out yet how to do so (and i'd be so happy if ya'll mention some you'd like to see if you just leave me a cc or a comment)

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave kudos and comments! Come interact with me or see me rant about Oneus and Onewe and loads of other groups on: [twt: @flwr_doya](https://twitter.com/flwr_doya) or send me a [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.qa/flwr_doya)


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